Personal Note: What kind of mother will I be?

 

Last weekend we went to Devon to meet up with Hub's brothers and their families. His brother Tom was up from South Africa and introduced us to the latest Hewitt member - baby Sesethu. After a weekend with this little guy, I was feelin' broody. It made me start to wonder about the kind of parents we will make.

I have dreams about the kind of mom I want to be. I look forward to a home birth and breastfeeding, I look forward to walking in the park with my baby sling in front and our future dog George by my side. I look forward to speaking in Spanish all the time with my baby and handing down a little piece of my Salvadorian upbringing. I look forward to making Sunday brunch just like my mom used to do, a buffet of blended black beans, scrambled eggs, queso fresco and platanos fritos. I want to raise my kids like Bebe and have sit down meals. I want to introduce them to all kinds of foods like my Dad did with me and I've already got our food motto ready, "you don't have to like it, but you have to try it." I've even started my Pinterest board for our kids room.
 

It's crazy to think that in a few years we will (hopefully) be there. I imagine motherhood to be this euphoric experience and that I'll slip into this magical mother role like my good friend Katie did. But I'll always remember this thing she said to me when she had her first baby, "I felt like I didn't know what I was doing and a little loss." And that gave me some comfort, especially if we have kids in England and I won't have my mom around to show me the ropes. I don't know what kind of mommy I'll make, but it's nice to know that I can have days like this and like this. And it's ok.

(Pictures by Hub of me and Baby Sesethu bonding. I thought he didn't like me because he'd always start crying at some point)